My roots and School!!!

I will be going home this coming Wednesday and helping some of my Uncles and Aunties clean out my Grandma and Grandpa Adakai's old houses.  Where I grew up was the best place I could ever ask for.  I didn't grow up poor or anything and I was always around my family.  My grandparents always made it better.  I have a twin sister and her and I were probably a handful for my grandparents but they loved us unconditionally.  I remember waking up and hearing my grandpa outside getting ready for the day.  He was the best grandpa I could ever ask for.  My grandma was the best too because she always loved each and every one of us the same.  So this weekend I return to my roots and also a bit of soul searching.  I know they counseled me when I was growing up to go to school and always love my family.  I hope I don't get too emotional this weekend because ever since their passing I hate going out to the old houses because it doesn't feel the same.

Hopefully I can remember who I was and also remember their teachings when I return home this weekend :D

So I started school almost two months ago and I have realized I am not a writer.  When I get down to writing what I think, I sometimes find myself saying "Why do they want to know what I have to say....My opinion does not matter...." But then I realize I do have something to say and I need to say it loud and clear.  Well how do you do that when you are so used to being the quiet one and the one who doesn't like to ask for anything.  This has been one of my challenges for the year.  I am so used to giving to everyone else and asking for nothing in return. 

presentation

I have had so much go on this week, a paper for public policy and theory and lets just say that paper is going okay.  I don't really know how to analyze bills and say what I think about them. 

On Tuesday night I presented for my Student Development  class and I was soo nervous.  You know when you feel like a fish in a fishbowl with everyone just staring at you and all you want to do is crawl under a table and close your ears and maybe they won't know you are there.  Well that is how I felt.  I even at one point thought I should tell them to all just look the other way and when I am finished presenting then they can look at me.  haha.  Well I got thru it and I am glad I did it at the beginning and didn't put it off until the middle of the semester :D

I guess when you start going to the big kid school you are expected to do alot more :D I am up for the challenge just didn't think everything would happen so fast.  Oh well I will have my degree hopefully in two or three years and it will all be worth it. 

Blogging.....

So I have tried to do this blogging thing before. I never know what to say when I blog so I deleted the account. And then one day I was sitting there thinking you know I will try this again.

I am back in school.....I started grad school!!! Yippeee!!! I have been trying to reach this goal for sometime. I didn't know if I could do it and let me just tell you.....it is sooo hard. I am capable of doing the work, I just need to get back into the study mode. So on Friday Sept 10, one of my fellow workers came in and talked to me for awhile.....I told him I was drowning and didn't know if I could do this anymore. He just chuckled a little and told me I needed to lay out a plan and decide when the best time of the day is to study. If I am studying after work that may not work out because I am drained from the day at work and he said I may have to sacrifice and study early in the morning. I thought about this for a second....I go to bed pretty early and don't really do anything entertaining in the morning but sleep. So I should follow his advice and get up in the morning and study. Since he gave me this advice on a Friday I decided to start on Monday. He also said I needed to make time for myself. This is the problem with me....I always have to be doing something and I can't just sit around. He said if I kept trying to do things for others and not myself I would go insane by the end of the semester. I tried it on Saturday, I got up and studied and then got ready and went to the library until 5 that day. When I got home from the library I went to the gym and worked out. I accomplished all I needed to do that day. Amazingly I did what I needed to do and accomplished all my tasks. Thanks to Barney giving me some sound advice :D